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Loving You From Afar

Unfortunately, humans are chronically unaware of what is acceptable dialogue and what is not; especially in emotional situations.


I do not advocate that humans truly need an explanation for all your actions. It behooves you to make that decision as to what you address and what you do not address. What human is worthy of a response to anything, and what human deserves some level of explanation, is all up to you.


Take for example if your partner asks about something that may have caused confusion, the onus is on you to provide clarity for peace of mind for them, and joy to continue in your home. Irrespective of the topic, clarity is valuable. However, if I am dealing with a human who has no idea about my personal journey, no clue about my life choices and experiences and yet choose to approach me with indignation, then they become unworthy of any element of favor on my part. (Yes, me ago mek you know how me really feel and it naah go nice... in my Jamaican accent).




Some humans feel justified to dictate what someone should feel and attempt to describe the reason for someone's actions without knowing all the facts. They make these assumptions based on whatever sources they have, then they pour it out on you expecting you to defend yourself in some way. I was told today that my adamant desire to avoid the humans who have created toxicity through years of occurences, incidents, disrespect and ignorance towards me, is quite petty and that I should get over it. Now without knowing the football field of crap that I have swam through over the years, how does one attempt to share with me that my desire to recoup the fragments of me that I choose to hold on to, constitutes to me being silly and difficult? How am I expected to respond to your broken heart when I am over here still suturing mine?


Please know, not every one who has chosen not to be part of your life, is losing sleep about it. Not everyone who has taken themselves away from your presence is carrying hate or any negative feelings towards you. "Just because you lost me as a friend doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy... i still wanna see you eat, just not at my table."


I have learned to love humans from afar. I have learned to offer my prayers and well wishes from afar. I have learned to continue to treasure myself in ways others did not and not feel guilty about it. I have also learned to let go of humans I have loved for years; family and close friends. This is not something that I am elated about, but it happens to be something I feel safe and confident about. You get to a point where your circle seriously becomes so small that you protect it against all odds. You try to be immune to the hurt, but you never get immune to it, you just heal from it gradually.


I urge you, do not be that person. as Beenie Man says "do you want to be that guy?"

Never attempt to judge a human's reaction to a situation because you have not actually lived it. Truly, unless you have, you do not know how you would act. Additionally, never attempt to minimize a human's emotion as you are not the one experiencing it. If you cannot support it, and you cannot understand it, then do not speak on it.

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