Human behavior fascinates me. It is beyond me how they make effort to ask for help, in some cases even pay for help, clearly struggling and actually need the help, then turn around and attempt to create their own solutions. Then, like a parent you have to watch them spiral and spin, until they come right back and start all over again. It is quite frustrating to watch and/or experience.
Not in anyway attempting to be blasphemous, but I am guessing that is how our Creator feels. When humans bawl their eyes out praying for a good man or a good woman because they have been dating bobo the clown. With his big clown feet trampling all over their life, their plans, their self-esteem, and their happiness. They are taught, and shown why this is not the healthier option to stay in so they pull on all the help they can get. After some element of time, or some significant occurrence, you see them adjusting to bobo again, big red nose behavior and all!
It is a big deal when a person who needs help actually asks for help. However, there is a follow-through path that is just as big. Changes do not come from doing the wrong thing over and over again. A human tells you who they are with how they express the encounters with others and what transpired during the experience. If you are hearing the same story over and over again, with similar outcomes, then it calls to mind that the issue may not be the other person, but in fact the narrator crying woe is me.
In my Wisdom Wednesday session, one participant used a phrase that I think captures the point succinctly. She called it the Common Denominator! Now that explained in Algebra, Mathematics, and any calculating subject of study means the same value appearing in multiple fractions. One has to really assess, while calculating your own actions, or your outcomes, ask yourself "am I the common denominator?" Are there muliple situations that you have gotten into that ended up with the same results?
You cannot tell me that putting yourself out there that you need help, in any arena, personal, business, or otherwise, then turning around and telling the person or persons to whom you have shared this with, that what they are suggesting will not work, is prudent. Think about it, a new idea, a new act, a new possibility, another skill, another approach, and you continuously decline. Your innate need to do it the way you are accustomed to outweighs fathoming an adjustment.
Picture it (yes, I watch a lot of Golden Girls), February 2020 , a young lady by the name of Rainbow who lives on her own, asks a professional painter to paint the kitchen in her home. Rainbow expresses to the painter that she had so many issues the last time she had a painter because she ended up doing so much more than she expected and it was a very stressful experience. Mr. Painter vows to make it a great experience, and goes off the get paint, and begin planning the approach to complete the job. 2 hours into the job, Mr. Painter gets a call from Rainbow and she states that she went to the paint store, and got some details on the mixture of the paint, and the proper paint strokes to be made, dry time and how many coats is needed for the walls. Mr. Painter was concerned and asked, "why would you do all that after you hired me".... Rainbow's response was familiar to her brain as she had used it so often ..."I don't see the problem, I was trying to help" See Rainbow was the common denominator in all her stressful situations. SOMETIMES WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF OUR OWN WAY. We end up blocking a blessing, missing an opportunity, losing a chance for something elevated and beautiful to occur with us, because we are busy being ourselves. That man did not ask for her for help!
I leave you with this. Yes, you should be aware who you ask for assistance, but if you do ask, and get a positive response, trust the process and let it happen. Hold on to who you are, your morals, and the genuine core of yourself, but sometimes, it is paramount to your peace, joy and blessings to let few behaviors die and some beliefs go.