I am fighting each day to have others understand the validity of self-respect. Egoism is a completely different thing. What I am referring to is the intent of a human to insist on a certain quality of life, a certain quality of acceptance and even more so, the highest level of acceptance of oneself. Not many ever get there. Some believe that loving oneself is narcissistic and typically its those people who struggle with self-respect and self-esteem. Not many humans even comprehend that this is plausible; and for those of us who have gotten there, it has been a journey. For others who are not there yet, I have to let you know, I literally ache on the inside to see the effects of blatant disrespect to self by allowing others to encroach on your psyche.
We all have flaws and too few of us are willing to dissect those flaws to create positive outcomes. Humans in general rest on their laurels and their pedestrian level understanding of how their minds work to diagnose that they are 'fine.' What makes one think that one act is injustice in one scenario, but not in others as it applies to them?
If one does not know any different, then I am beating a dead horse to say, one should have self-respect. One advantage of being disrespected is identifying what it is, how it made you feel and teaching you what you do not want in your space. However, if you have never seen anything different, never experienced anything different, never heard it can be different, then you continue to operate business as usual.
You cannot always control what is said or done to you in a particular situation to cause disrespect, but what you can control is your response. There are times, especially in a work environment when it is inevitable and sometimes the parameters do not allow for a response of defense. There are times in a patriarchal or matriarchal setting one has to refrain from expressing fully how they feel with regards to feeling robbed of self respect, or the notion thereof. However, as a functional adult, I am telling you, there should be no hesitation to demand respect of the humans who occupy space with you. Be it, lover, friend, other humans who have declared that they care for you, it does not matter; everyone deserves a certain level of respect. If self-respect is not being adequately cultivated, you lose yourself on someone else's agenda.
This all boils down to boundaries and values. I could talk until the black falls off my skin, it does not change the fact that, we train humans how to treat us. One line in a song I listen to frequently states, "we can't demand respect without change".... the statement has less to do about the giver, and more indicative of the taker. This is qualified by the foregoing lyrics where it states, "ain't nobody gonna love you like you are, If you take whatever he brings your way" and that HE mentioned in the lyrics, can be a she, a they, a them, a family, a friend, a spouse, a neighbor, .....anyone who chooses to ignore your human right to not be disrespected and still want to be in your space as a "loved one" will cause clamor to your equilibrium.
Hear me ...guide them accordingly to act right, or be guided away from your space.