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It's Just Not Ok!!!

Updated: Mar 22, 2020

Betrayal is never easy to swallow, it's not an acquired taste, it's not something that goes away, and it's certainly not to be taken as you "making a big deal out of nothing." It's one of those things that you experience, except that it's heavy. You have to process it, marinate on your next move, then act. The human who betrays you violates the spoken or unspoken agreement of trust. You don't have to agree, you don't have to support, you don't even have to believe in what the other person does, you just should display your commitment and dedication by not speaking or acting against it in any way, shape or form! You should Not be purporting anything that is remotely tied to the discontent in ANYWAY to the ones you love. The adage rings true, if you have nothing good to say, then say nothing. Has your expressed critical, intentionally spiteful, and demonstrative distaste shared made any difference in anyone's life? Do you know the difference between venting and slander? What are you willing to lose to engage in this banter? Who have you truly helped with this act? Would you want the same done towards you? Betrayal is partially about what is done and said, but largely about to whom it is said, what exactly is said and most importantly, about the human to whom you harm in whatever ways, with your words and actions. Execution matters; especially when emotions are involved. But what exactly do I know? I am just a woman, bearer of another human, wife with experience (not my 1st rodeo), seasoned teacher, owner of a higher level degree in Psychology, forgiving friend, black, strong, uninhibited human who has experienced a plethora of life occurrences, have studied human behavior and I am not a "youngin." I am not perfect, I have made gross mistakes, but I can not be categorized as anyone's enemy or someone who betrays another.

Can you say the same?

Humans tend to believe that being right is more important than being kind. Humans tend to believe that the barometer with which they measure themselves and their life experiences should be used to measure others. God forbid if one of us happen to fail! You mean you didn't get married before 30? You didn't finish college? You haven't travelled outside the country? You don't drive your own car? You got married and still don't have kids at 35? You are not in a relationship? All these parameters we put on others because we happen to have conquered an act by a particular time or season in our lives. I must admit, though it may be tempting to compare, as I have done it many times and felt terribly inappropriate afterwards. No one human can be duplicated. Be the best you that you can be for you ALWAYS, and try, I mean, try, beyond all things that seem "normal" to you, try to see others in the light THEY WEAR, NOT comparable to you! And maybe, just maybe, with the flicker of hope I hold in my heart, you will not be the one BETRAYING another because they don't measure up to your perfect, yet completely flawed barometer.

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Dr. MoNique Graham
Dr. MoNique Graham
Mar 17, 2020

Thanks for the feedback. I find that humans are so ready to point out what they consider to be flaws while not embracing the idea that we are all different.


I felt your words and its food for thought (most of it). The rest of it I will think about it some more cause it's good to hear it especially from you Mo

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