Recently, I had the pleasure of joining a group of writers for a virtual meet up and its uncanny to me how after imagining instances, how they unravel effortlessly. While meeting up with them I learned so much, and I was also able to impart fragments of me that was held as valuable to many; all good. I felt like I was not the only mind in the room that was not typical. I do not possess the characteristics or experiences of a typical human at my age, and my stage of life.
i spoke of how attractive I thought some skills were in the humans I keep close. My circle is to be a really small group and they are so stable, consistent and conscientious about each step taken, each decision made and most importantly they aggressively complete tasks and achieve goals they set for themselves. So while sharing this with the team, both myself and another attendee expressed how we felt we were taking too long to get to publishing items we had written, etc. The orator of the group quoted Nipsey, he said " run your race, know your pace" and I held on to that so much. I believe strongly that what is yours cannot be truly taken from you and when your time has come to shine, nothing can stop it.
Nevertheless, I also believe that we can be in our own way. I think the qualities I admire about others, are the ones I need to work on in myself and create some outcomes that I think I desire. I think I have gotten in my own way in many instances, yet there are times I also accept that certain things just happen the way they are suppose to in that moment, at that time. We get these inklings of "what if," and "should I" and "if I had" and it truly is all the same.
As we mature, we make contrasting choices, we tolerate a myriad of things as they allow us to experience levels of amelioration and we also welcome some conditions that otherwise would have us in a whirlwind of catastrophic proportion.
However, some conditions are not worth it, some extension of ourselves are brutal to our future, and some acceptance of humans and their personal circumstances or tolerance of a workplace's bizarre protocols can cause such level of disturbance or major contamination to one's self worth, value and esteem that the trade off doesn't matriculate to fulfillment.