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Sometimes, Its you!

As well meaning friends and family, we like to tell our loved ones what they want to hear so they can feel better. Not everyone who chooses to share an opinion about your life is attempting to harm, there are humans who genuinely care but the intent does not always mirror the outcomes. Take these three scenarios as examples. If you are unhealthily overweight, someone whose intention is good will say "you are looking good, don't worry about it." If you are in a bad relationship, a loved one will say "having half a man better than none at all." If you are single and complaining that they are no good men/women out there, others will say "you are too good for them."

Some hard facts are, firstly, you can appear to be overweight but be quite healthy. However, if you are not healthy, get checked, and do something about it as best as you can for your circumstance. Being cute is fine but being healthy and cute should be a more pertinent goal.

Secondly, having any partner that is not satisfying the good and pleasant nurturing elements of both your needs and wants in a relationship is sincerely not worth the hours, months and years you will spend with them. You can dedicate your life to another human who has no clue what it means to value your union, and you deteriorate not only your value and your self- esteem, but also, you lose the time that you could be spending developing yourself positively. It's like sitting on a nail, feeling the hurt, constantly adjusting but refusing to make efforts to get up because of this unworthy human.

Thirdly, as far as single, available, quality choices of good men and women, they are out there! You should not sit in your world of exposure saying no one out there is good. Timing is part of the grand scheme of things. It may just be time for you to reflect on what you are projecting. Maybe what you are offering to who you think you want; happens to be what they are avoiding. Pretty much, sometimes, it IS YOU. And that is part of maturing into the human you are to become, and acknowledging the reality of what you bring to the table. If you are offering minced beef and I am in the market for filet mignon, we will not reach an agreement, no matter what bargaining tool you may use. Why? what you are pilfering is just not what I am seeking. Simple! If you are looking to offer filet mignon you must regroup and assess how to turn your minced beef into quality prime options. (That is something I can teach, yes, I would have to charge; but I digress).

Please note, being single is not a curse, it is not a bad status, nor is it reason to trade your self-worth. The stronger love you have for yourself, the stronger your ability to identify what is yours and what should be discarded... like any "good man/woman" out there does, get picky. Glean self-respect then flourish from that. Let the human who is privileged to be in your space acknowledge that it is an honor and act accordingly. No one wants something that everyone can have, and no true love or anyone who genuinely cares for you will allow you to continue to destroy who you are based on the conclusion that no one out there is good.

My wish for you is that you develop such an intense love of yourselves that you choose you. Not selfishly, not childishly, not narcissistically, just absolutely love yourself unequivocally that the choices you make edifies all of who you are for you and the ones you love.

Happy Holidays and alway focus on Self-Care.

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