Human behavior can be expected at times, albeit even predictable. Typically, one stays on the "right path," follows the rules, do what makes most sense to the masses and due diligence to the powers that be, at the time it matters.
However, every once in a while we get this jolt, the inclination that there needs to be a birthing of an act. Sometimes monumental, sometimes minuscule; or so it may seem.
Years ago, I attended a concert where Donnie Mcclurkin sang. At the time, I was certain he was going to be my husband. He had no clue who I was, and I had no clue I was gay. I was so young, yet his words resonated and stayed with me all these years. One line of the song stated "what if I told you to let go of the very thing you felt you HAD TO HOLD, would you still trust me?
Letting go is hard and can seem like the most horrific, scary, irresponsible, disheartening thing one has to do. It takes guts, it takes strength and it takes belief in oneself so much so that the little lie that reveals itself in the midst of your mental turmoil cannot win.
I implore you to have audience with yourself, seek out your true self and not a derivative of you. Get confident about YOU. Soar, fly, thrive, try, climb, invest in you. Consider yourself worthy.
In some cases that may mean walking away to watch yourself bloom. Use the lies and uncertainly as stepping stones and step out to your calling, your future, your joy and faith.
And in those times when it gets cloudy, still trust your reason for letting go. Your purpose is locked in your faith in yourself.